Your 15 Minutes (But It’s Him)

It’s a regular Tuesday afternoon. I’m lounging on the couch, eating cereal straight from the box, wondering how the fifth load of laundry magically appeared when I literally did it yesterday. You know, regular stuff. Daytime TV is on in the background—some talk show I’m not really paying attention to—until I hear a familiar voice.

The camera zooms in dramatically, and the host’s voice gets all hyped up, “And now, our next guest…!”

I glance at the screen, about to scroll through my phone. But then, I stop. I freeze. The cereal box slips from my hand, spilling its sugary contents across the floor. Because there he is.

HIM.

No way. Is that…? Is that Marshall from high school?! The same Kyle who once convinced our whole class I was the mastermind behind a senior prank involving 300 rubber ducks and the principal’s office?

He struts onto the stage, looking weirdly… grown-up? More polished than the guy who used to wear backward baseball caps and quote Anchorman like it was Shakespeare.

And then, in front of the entire country, Marshall leans into the microphone and says it.

“Yeah, I just want to give a shout-out to an old friend, Celestial,” he says, all casual, like we didn’t have history. Like he didn’t once pretend to spill soda on me in the cafeteria just to get the “perfect” reaction shot for the yearbook.

I stand up, cereal crunching underfoot as my phone lights up with messages.

Mom: “Did Marshall just say your name on TV?? Is this your big break??”
Best Friend: “UMMMM, MARSHALL?? Like THE Marshall??”
Random Co-Worker: “You know Marshall? I love that guy, what a legend.”

Legend? Legend?! He’s the reason I still can’t look at a rubber duck without twitching! But I digress. My heart’s pounding now. What’s he going to say next?

Marshall leans back in his chair, grinning like this is some casual catch-up over coffee. “Yeah, Celestial and I go way back. She was the funniest person in school—always getting into the best pranks.”

Excuse me? PRANKS? Oh, no. No, no, no. Marshall, I was your victim, not your partner in crime!

The host laughs, like this is the best reunion story ever. “So, what would you say if Celestial was watching right now?”

Marshall smiles directly at the camera. “I’d say, ‘Hey, Celestial, remember the rubber duck thing? Yeah, that was all me. No hard feelings, right?’”

Hard feelings? HARD FEELINGS, MARSHALL?! I’m still finding ducks in my basement.

I’m pacing now, completely forgetting about the mess of cereal and phone notifications. What do I do? Do I respond? Do I start a Twitter war? Do I send him an invoice for emotional duck-related damages?

Meanwhile, Marshall’s just sitting there, basking in his moment, as if he hasn’t haunted my dreams with his endless pranks for the last decade.

The host moves on to the next segment, and just like that, my unexpected brush with fame ends. But not for me. Oh no. I’m now plotting. The next reunion? Marshall’s getting glitter bombed for sure. Big time.

But first… I need a dustpan for this cereal.

---

And just like that, my 15 minutes of fame came and went—crunching underfoot.