It was another bright, peaceful day in Heaven. The clouds were soft, the angels were glowing, and the harps? As soothing as ever. But even paradise can get a little… repetitive.
Gabriel, a mid-tier angel who’d been on harp duty for the last few millennia, was lounging on a fluffy cloud, bored out of his celestial mind. He glanced over at his friend Aziel, a soul who had recently completed her 198th reincarnation.
“Hey, Az. What’s your plan this weekend?” Gabriel asked, twirling his halo around his finger like a Frisbee.
Aziel sat up, cracking her neck. “You know what? I’m thinking of heading back down. Do the human thing again.”
Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Already? Didn’t you just come back from that 70-year stretch as a beekeeper in Oregon?”
“Yeah, but it was way longer than I thought it would be. Honey production’s no joke. This time, I’m aiming for something quick. Maybe a three-week run as a college student during finals season. Real low-effort, lots of coffee, you know?”
Gabriel chuckled. “Three weeks? Nice. That’s the sweet spot for humans. Just enough time to get a sense of the chaos but not so much that you start caring about… I dunno, rent.”
“Exactly! Last time I stayed too long and got emotionally attached to a garden. By the time I reincarnated back up here, I was stressed,” Aziel said, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, humans are hilarious. It’s like a never-ending reality show down there. I miss the coffee too.”
“Oh, coffee,” Gabriel sighed dreamily. “I miss coffee. Harp duty is fine and all, but no caffeine? Tragic. You mind if I tag along? I could use a break from the whole ‘eternal light and tranquility’ thing. Maybe I’ll do the whole ‘wandering artist’ vibe, live off canned beans, complain about capitalism—classic.”
“Sure, why not?” Aziel grinned. “How long you thinking?”
“I’m feeling a solid week. A quick midlife crisis, followed by a wild road trip through Arizona. I’ll be back by Monday, easy.”
Just then, Remiel floated by, overhearing the conversation. He was holding what looked suspiciously like a celestial clipboard, complete with a glowing quill.
“Again with the human vacations, you two?” Remiel sighed. “You just got back, Aziel! And Gabriel, weren’t you a 13th-century philosopher last time? What happened to ‘enlightenment and divine purpose’?”
Gabriel shrugged, waving his halo around like a lasso. “Yeah, but you’ve read all those scrolls, man. Same philosophy, different toga. This time I’m going for minimal thought, maximum vibes. You should come too, Remiel. We could hit up Earth together.”
“Oh, please,” Remiel huffed. “Like I’m going to give up my restful weekend just to deal with having ‘feelings’ and ‘hunger.’ Do you know how annoying digestion is? The last time I reincarnated, I had to spend two days on a juice cleanse. I’m good, thanks.”
Aziel rolled her eyes. “Oh, c’mon, Remy. Live a little! You’re always buried in some angelic paperwork. We’re talking 3 weeks tops. Maybe you could do the pet route—ever been a cat? You can sleep 18 hours a day, demand food, and knock things off tables for fun. Honestly, it’s the cushiest gig in the universe.”
Remiel considered for a moment, then shook his head firmly. “No, no, I’m busy recalibrating some karma chains, very important stuff. You two have fun on your… vacation.”
“Suit yourself.” Gabriel stretched, his wings fluttering lazily. “Alright, I’m locking in. I think I’ll drop in as a musician. Maybe start a terrible garage band—humans love a good underdog story.”
Aziel laughed. “And I’ll be a sleep-deprived grad student, barely holding it together but fueled entirely by ramen and existential dread. It’s going to be a blast.”
With that, she stood up, gave her wings a good shake, and began to glow, the light intensifying as she prepped for her descent. “Alright, Gabe. I’ll see you down there. Let’s meet up in, what, three Earth weeks? We’ll catch up at the usual cloud café.”
Gabriel nodded, his own glow starting to kick in. “Sounds good! I’ll bring you some stories about existential dread, maybe even learn how to play Wonderwall.”
Remiel shook his head, already imagining the chaotic after-action report they’d be filing in a few weeks. “You two are unbelievable.”
Aziel winked. “You know, if you change your mind, Remy, I hear the life of a pug is pretty low-stakes. Just saying.”
And with that, Aziel and Gabriel vanished in twin flashes of celestial light, off to enjoy their quick spin as humans.
Remiel stared at the spot where they had disappeared, then sighed and opened up his clipboard. But after a moment, he hesitated, looking down at Earth.
“…A pug, huh? Maybe just for the weekend…”
And so, the cycle continued. Heaven was eternal, but the human experience? Well, that was just a weekend getaway.
Read the Heaven’s Weekend Getaway: The Human Vacation (Remix) Here
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